remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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