He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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