We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
