honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
