I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
please don't ironically join a cult
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