Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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