Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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