sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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