Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This house was built for laser tag.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
