She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
