areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
