none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
