why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just gift wrapped bread.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
