do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
