it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
