i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Life is so much better after having sex.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
