I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
