Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if only i could text you this smell
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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