He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My ass is underappreciated
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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