i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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