I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
