Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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