my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
