He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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