I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
