Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
