whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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