They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
