My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
