Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
