Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
