9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
