And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
