That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
