If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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