im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
