cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
