Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
and you fell through a lawn chair
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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