So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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