I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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