i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
