Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
