I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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