My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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