I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
