Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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