we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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