:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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