How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
