if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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