He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
